A Better Everyday :D

Maybe we are not meant to be......

2011-11-30T18:36:00.000-08:00

Wow have been picking up my smoking habit again. I couldn't help it. There is so many things going through in my head. Why am i so affected by her every word? Why can't i just move on like how i did previously for all my past RS.

May be i have changed. I really thought she is going to be the one. I was wrong. Guess i am left with thing i have now and i cherish every single one of my friend. Brothers and sisters, you are the reason i held my head high again.

Ytd went clementi with Brother jun and Sis sherry, catch up alot and went to have fun and like old times, i feel i am being taken care of.

At MOVIDA.

At MOVIDA. Guess this have always been my life.

THX guys for making my day

Lao Cheng. Always there to guide me through my disastrous life

A pillar of pikachu. Thx for being there for me too. Love pikachu.

Who will catch me if i fall

2011-09-26T23:44:00.001-07:00

I really don understand why things will turn out this way,i am facing all this shit all along without you.It really hurts me damn it hurts.I really love you and will never do such things to u.I am too naive that actually believe you might love me as much as i did to you.

Guess i am just another guy that you enjoy company with.Not a BF.i am now in the office stressing myself with no comfort,no strength and only depression.

How i wish you are here right now so i can tell you lots of my daily stuffs that i never had the chance to talk to you.

The change in you is too big for me to take.You can turn into this so easily which only conclude that i am never in your heart.Even i were,it is only for that moment.This sucks.and i am talking to you like a friend everyday and you treat me damn cold

2 weeks more to go.I lost 5 kg already.I don sleep i don eat,all i do is just think bout you and our happy moments and how you bare to treat me this way now.I am really tired le.exhausted.No one is there to save me.

My friends all encouraging me.But it doesn seem to work.you are damn cruel to me.how i wish i am a flirt i am last time so i will never feel this pain.Fuck this.i am falling apart.

But another part of me is pushing me and asking me to hang on to our RS.Those happy moments we shared.i don want to lose you.But i really don know how long i can survive dying to see you and talk to you everyday.

It take really hell lot of determination alone.I tried to talk to you.You treat me so cold despite the fact you alr hurt me so much.You want me to give you time and space,Who the fuck gives me? I am sad the other day and you said you couldn comfort me as you are sad,but when your friends you quarrel with them and when they are sad,you comfort them.There is so so much things in my mind now i wish i got memory washer.

i am still here waiting aimlessly,suffering from great depression for the only hope that we would be back together when you reach singapore

I wanted to fetch you.You ask me not to.It really hurts me.I know you cannot face me.but you think i can? despite all those things that you did to me,i don know why am i still waiting.if iwas me a few years back i would have left.guess i still love you alot bahhs haiiiii fuck this feeling!

May buddha watch over me and not let me fall...........

i hate wei jie^^

2010-07-04T22:03:00.000-07:00

wad difference had i made to myself day by day??

2010-03-23T13:00:00.000-07:00

today woke up early as i had a gym session wid chee ho.hm.he overslept so i continued sleeping.after that went to watch movie wid daddy.we watched COP OUT.a M18 show but it is really a good show damn it.i love the show.

after that went to meet mat,andre,edwin and jr.initial d liao after that went for dinner.after that went fer sf4...hm..it was fun.

slack at the cathay awhile then went to meet jr sec sch frens.two girls.one of them is drunk and we met at prata house.after tht went to pub.luckily avedne's dad is there.he is the vip.he is very friendly so we knew each other fast and they gave us free flow of liqour and beer.we played pool for free too.and it feels like the whole pub is ours.

hm.not long came a ang moh name nigel.he played pool with us.he challenged us.he keep winning.then came my turn.and to my joy i won him.he was very friendly and i really like him.after that came one china girl.we played poker cards wid her.and she enjoyed it very much and she sticked to us for awhile.the loser drank the liqour.damn fun.finally i smoked.i dun intend to as i was quitting.but took a stick from bro and that china girl.had so much fun then got people want to fight there.hai.not long we slacked awhile more finish up the liquor and went off in cab..thats it.nitez everyone

wow.you are the reason why i turned stronger

2010-03-12T09:04:00.000-08:00

wow.juz came back from my dinner with elaine,shermaine,chyeling wilson and jason.it was fun.the guys including me reached there late and i kena the mushroom kan.nvm.haha.crap around at bugis and ate quite alot.after that went for arcade and the damn sf4 machines were so packed and fully occupied!!!hm.didn play so playeddatona and bishi bashi.damn fun.haha.after that chiong for train.luckily there is still train.and ya i will be going to gentings in two more days!!yay

juz feel that it would be better for me this way

2010-02-28T06:16:00.000-08:00

wow.didn't blog for a long time due to the exams.was fucking stress that period.went to countless people house to study.no time to eat and sleep.damn shag.and thanks to barry,weijie and juxian and cedric.they taught me alot of things during my revision.hm.anyway it is over le!!!haha.yay.hm.

then came mdm cheng's birthday and it was quite fun as we eat at Plaza singapura and then go pub and guess wad?mr ben joined us!!!wow.it was damn fun.at first drank matell then when mr ben came we drank again this time he forked some for us.then i went to the challenger's pool table to play.i won mr ben.then i took control of the table.keep winning and the feeling is great.great to have my moves back.i love it!!after that there got fight.haha.hm.borrowed 20 dollars from huiting heng ar.if not no need cab home le......

i will pull through

2010-02-14T10:01:00.000-08:00

whoa.today woke up early as my relative will be coming early.and ate my grandma's signature dish.haha.after that mahjong all the way wid my relative.i am the youngest there.and me and my dad tag team together and we still lose.aiya.my dad say he got something in his mind that is distracting him.hm.so he cannot concentrate well.maybe it is because that we never go my dad's side there bai nian,hm
yay.it is my birthday now and it really feel that something is missing......hai.anyway.i am glad for those who wished me remembered my bd....enjoyed my birthday cake wid my name spelt wrongly.hm.anyway i turn 19 today so i have to handle things more maturely and not always give myself a excuse that everything is bad.i will look on the bright side of everything and hope this will make me happy again:)

i am so screwed

2010-02-12T09:11:00.000-08:00

today went to peer tutoring at 9am.i reach there around 8.30.so early and i was the first one there so very ulu sia.after that saw barry and mr lau then proceed on doing the papers.hm.this time mr lau make it a point that latecomers will not be admitted to the class.
after finish,we left for gym as me,kiat and jason tay went to canteen two to eat.after that went gym for intense training.haha.
after that went to clementi for arcade and we decided to skip DEL tutorial.played there awhile and then later went jp for hair cut at chapter2.the hair cut was ex.hm.but i enjoyed the whole cutting process as my hairstylist was friendly.after that went to sandstorm and this time wait for kiat's turn to cut.haha.now me,jie,kiat all have tail.hahaha.
after that followed kiat home as we decided to go and find shermaine and CL.we reached there after a long trip.went esplanade and there was live band performance as usual.this time the singers were all very talented.reached there awhile and was damn hungry.lucky CL and sher bought us sushi:)).ate alot and surprisingly there is fireworks,we totally enjoyed the whole duration of the fireworks.after slacking awhile.jie came to join and he brought his fren.took some photos and went hhome in a very packed train....

i don't deserve......

2010-02-07T09:53:00.000-08:00

wow.yesterday was a very busy day.i woke up in the afternoon and went for lunch.after that went to meet shermaine,chye ling and D.haha.it is nice of the three of them to accompany me to go shop for new clothes.met at bugis after i had a long train ride.and i stood throughout the journey.met D at the control station and she bought me a cap as my bd present.wow.i love it.the checkered pattern was nice.hm.
after that waited for the two ladies to come down from bras brasah.met tgt le then we went to shop.haha.i really had no chances of winning them in talking man.owned to the worst.hahaha.anyway. bought two polo tees which cost me 60 dollars like that.hm.shermaine bought 1 similar one wid me as we had said earlier.after that took train to IMM and had dinner there.after that go and slack wid D til quite late and chiong home to help out my mum wid decorations.now i am studying IN which i think i will again flung my test tomorrow.

endless struggle

2010-02-01T09:07:00.000-08:00

today went for presentation after i prepared in the morning.everyone did very well so i am so nervous.i did my presentation and thought that i could have done better.anyway it is over so it is a good thing.after that met weijie and kiat at makan place and had subway.after that went to do del tutorial at the library.did and we crapped around.

after doing del went to shermaine's place and chye ling was there too.shermaine cooked dinner tthis time and me and chye ling had it.i ate alot as shermaine took quite a amount of rice for me.after that studied del as tml i will be taking the practical test.learn some from her dad and after that went to find childish.reached cck and the childish is there waiting for me.haha.we bought ice cream and eat and i dropped ine.WTF!i left the last dollar and this happen.nvm.i bought again and childish help me to pay part of it.bought a drink and slacked at cck.we talked for quite some time and i went home by train.haha.damn it.i am notstudying for the del and workstation.i haven to del tutorial 4 and the web tutorial.i also haven finish my MOL mathamatics.wow.all this will kill me..

as i grow older,my mind have to take a step forward and not be trapped in the past

2010-01-26T06:46:00.000-08:00

whoa.so fast i will be in the exam week again and my birthday is coming!!!!!hm.thx to buddy who helped me in planning although i am quite choosy.juz reached home.came back from ang mo kio.went out with zhi sheng,jason,kiat,wei jie and junxian.they did the approaching but all were very scared and so am i.haha.went for popeyes for dinner.crap there and headed to the arcade for datona.kiat treat:)haha.

hm.today's lesson was boring.had a test in the morning and after that went for workstation.damn sian as teacher teach linux again.the command is so hard to memorise.really don noe if i will have the next semester.hai.did really badly sem after sem.don think will make it to yr 3.........

feeling dreadful.....

2010-01-15T11:08:00.000-08:00

now i can't sleep even though i lied down on the bed fer 2 hours.now i am wide again thinking about all sorts of things.today i went school and felt really uneasy and terrible so i went home after maths.without taking the maths quiz.i missed DEL today and i don understand a single shit the maths lesson.went home and rest.hai.i really wonders when i am going to be healthy again.i really need to focus on my studies.damn....and stop thinking bout stupid stuffs that can take me over.i am the person i am now.guess i came a long way to become myself.changing for the better..................nitez everyone

2010-01-01T07:06:00.000-08:00

yesterday was a blast.first went out wid dad and sis to watch movie.bodyguards and assasin.it was a great movie.hm.after that went to find thomas,huiting,jazreel,shuyu,peishan,peng,kai and farhan at marina square.they want to bid thomas faarewell.hm.ate ice cream at juz acia.ate le went arcade and pool there.slacked awhile then we go walk walk.then thomas asked me to follow him to chee's place to pack up.hm.so i did.the rest went to shenton way for satay.hm.haha.went of wid jaz and thomas.we followed jaz to clementi and we took photo.after that took bus to chee place fer pizza.

hm.really sorry fer not going countdown wid sher and the rest.hm.after that watch movie then after that took cab to the airport as thomas draged too long le.reached airport and ate popeyes.after that sent thomas off.ate awhile and slacked then went to east coast park to ton:)

we took cab there and there is alot of ppl.really alot.then we bought absolute vodka and find a spot to slack and drink.drink and smoked until really seh.then we played game then i lose.drank the pure vodka without mixer.damn.so strong.haha.then more drunk after that took a cab home.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE:)

didn't know 2009 went by so fast.learnt alot that year.to become wad i am now.stronger now.not to fall easily anymore.really wasn a good year for me.not very happy that yr till i met my old and new poly mates.got every sadness out of my mind.and most of all.i want to thank my one and only buddy..she really helped me alot through my dark days...........she is still very childish though.haha.nitez everyone.

what is wrong with me

2009-12-15T07:01:00.001-08:00

today woke up early as to meet friends for last revision for maths common test.i am late like usual.saw kiat at bus and we both went school together to have our revision.i really slack like hell.i no longer have the moltivation in me again.i keep having the thinking that so what if i studied so much as it will amount to nothing in the end.i just feel so lost.something is missing in me.but despite that.i sill force myself to study.yesterday lucky got jun xian and weijie they thought me del.i really learnt something when they teach me.hm.thats when i started to feel a sense of hope.hmm.today went for the exam at 1.30pm.when i enter the exam hall i feel very dizzy all of a sudden.damn.getting more and more weak liao.donno wad is wrong with me physically and mentally.hai.now i am going to study del.i took out my lecture notes but i left it on my table.never touch it.hai.today maths test already struck me.i got alot careless mistake.my A grade is gone......damn it.the rest of the module i more hopeless.like appg.i juz flung it.damn.really hope i can get my feet back on the ground.

its still in my mind.that fucker.although i delivered 3 punches to him.i still feel that its not enough.wad he did really make me sick.but when i look into his wet eyes.i just don feel like hurting him.but the things he did forced the punches out of me.damn.i am so useless as i can't even protect my loved ones............fuck

Lost.....

2009-11-29T07:10:00.000-08:00

this few days was rather busy.hm.didn really had the time to do things i wanted to.busy with all the school works.and i am still struggling.in E1,it was a struggle.my classmates were much faster than me.i have to put in more effort le.currently i am at the bottom of the class.hmm.just finished my online quiz.tomorrow is com2kit again.and there will be a test.i haven prepare myy CQ.damn.meet kiat tomorrow morning fer gym:)))haha.all this while i really feel lost.my mind and soul wasn wid me.my mind is always thinking wad will happen next.hai.i really hope i can get back to my carefree life i used to have.thx to my fellow mates some of them are teaching me.i have to buck up this sem.........

not giving up without a fight

2009-11-23T05:58:00.000-08:00

today i woke up early to go for the math quiz re-test as i had failed terribly.sian.cannot make it.but mr lau was gd enough to give me a re-test.although i woke up earlyi am still late fer school and he was angry as i missed some of the time fer revision.i took the test and this time pass but mr lau wants me to get full mark so i am going back tomorrow for another re-test.hmm.today com2kit damn sian,slack and yawn then teacher scolded me..hackcare.after that went to buy strepsils for evonne as she had sore throat,i thought she forgotten le.she wants it.hm.bought fer her and went for dinner.wow was a sumptious one.got chilli crab and oatmeal prawns.yum my favourite

SHIT DAYS in school...............

2009-11-14T09:34:00.000-08:00

today went out wid bros to eat and after that go cut hair...hmmm.after that went vivo to drink!!!wow.after edwin and li hao joined us we played card game to drink the absolute vodka.it was damn fun.after that we all very overwhelmed by the liquor.it was strong and i kana the most time.drank alot.after that went home in a drunk form...............reach home bathe and feel alright liao then blackshot wid fren...........sian..this monday going to give a speech on a newspaper article..i haven prepare!!!!

i feel very awkward

2009-11-13T09:24:00.000-08:00

today i woke up late.slack awhile and suddenly it started raining heavily.i waited awhile more fer the rain to stop.but it never did.so i went school hurriedly and i got myself wet on my way to mrt station.i reached school quite late and started doing mol...i am very behind time.my classmates are ahead of me.i juz lost the moltivation for studies.why i feel this way all of a sudden.hai.anyway after school went o eat at clementi with sher wk and wj.wow.nice meal as we ate quite alot.after that went to sher house then later wk joined.we played guitar together.three person we tried playing one song.haha.really thx to sher i get a chance to learn and her dad had juz gave me a guitar.a gd one which i can now practise on my own.my finger hurts now....hmm.went back home quite late.

JUST KILL ME PLEASE

2009-11-04T03:18:00.000-08:00

this is getting so crazy.i broke down today.i really cannot handle EG2.i thought i can.but i can't.i juz could not catch up wid the rest............i thought maths is easy...now fuck it..i know nothing bout chapter two..keep doing but keep making mistakes......fuck myself man.i still have del and appg that i am lost too...i really hope i can shut myself off for a day..i tried today's tutorial.mr lau was a great teacher.he ask me not to give up...that really sound comforting.....hai.after i stuck at a question for 40min,i really broke down.i wrote 3 pages of workings on the same question but i still could not figure it out.FUCK THIS

i am not going to be neutral anymore.coz you pissed me..................

2009-10-31T07:09:00.000-07:00

whoa.yesterday was damn tired.met sher and fogged wid her.wow.she brought zippo.after that went to class late and there is a quiz.fuck.i did not prepare.mr lau is a gd teacher.he never give up on me although i am rather slow in learning.EG2 really kick the shit out of me.....hai.after school went jp wid my classmates and jr.wow.our dinner was ex.we went to eat at ajisen and i ate crayfish ramen.was ex and didn really satisfy my hunger.haha.after that went for arcade and again ID!!!!wow.played till quite late and we slack at jp for a long time before heading home.haha.i took a godly bus trip home wid jason.chat and chat till very engross.haha.he alighted and left me to endure the godly ride.reached home at 11pm.damn.
today went out wid frens to courseway point.haha.i bought stud and we went for arcade.then slack and talk shit until late then we went for alcohol again.wow.this time wid fogging.damn.i am back for fogging.haha.it was nice but i want to quit.....

growing up everday

2009-10-26T09:07:00.000-07:00

today i was woke up by my dad.he played songs while i am sleeping.so woke up early although lesson starts at 1pm.i ate breakfast and played awhile before heading to school by train.met up wid barry and we went to the classroom.i bought some food up too.it was com 2 kit.the module i dislike most.the teacher then form us into group and soon she started teaching and wanted us to come out wid a topic to researh on for our group project work.hai.we'll have to present it formally.we even have to dressed up formally.damn.after the break,which we took a very long time to slack in a big group,came the hardest part of the day.the lecturer wanted us to perform a individual speech on a topic assigned to us.fuck this.we all were nervous.then came my turn.i went up the class to give a speech reluctantly.i was nervous then.but everthing seemed to turn out pretty well as i've said wad i had prepared to say.haha.some of my friends screwed it up.hmm.after school went to find sher and had dinner wid her.she juz finished her o'level english.she said it was quite ok.hmm.haha.aftr that went to play id3 again.played till we sian then i went back and daddy brought me to yishun for dinner.i did not eat as i have already eaten.hmm.it was a tired day after i completed my assembling of the lego car.it was tough but i finished it.daddy bought it for me so i had to complete it.haha.turning in le.damned.tml have to wear shoes.............

none of that matter now

2009-10-24T07:31:00.000-07:00

today woke up and is edwin's birthday.whoa.but bro never go.after that.i went out wid sis to ang mo kio hub today and bought two pairs of shoes at the converse shop.wow.use mum card to pay.hahaha.after that went to sembawang to buy bag.ate dinner there.omg.i bought a huge bag.i am using it to carry my books,laptop....everything..as almost everyday need to carry heavy stuffs,hai.guess that the good days have gone..........shit.i am lost in DEL,maths.better catch up liao.

stepping ahead....looking for a better tomorrow

2009-10-19T08:25:00.000-07:00

today i woke up early as today was the first day of school.didn really look forward to it.hai.ate my breakfast.after that head to school by bus.the bus waas so crowded that i barely got space to stand.reached school with an hungry stomach.so i head to the atrium,but i reach there i saw the queue i decided to go to the canteen.when i reached there,the queue was even longer for the various stalls.so i bought pau to eat instead and i head to my classroom.reached there and i was a stranger to everyone there.the teacher was nice but forced us to play games to know one another.so i did reluctantly and i did noe some friends.it was a tired day.first day the teacher told us to went in front of the class to talk.damned.i hate that and we intro each other.played stupid games.teacher realeased us late.it was 4 dead hours before i left the class.went home with kimberly as she stayed near me.bought stud and drank bubble tea at courseway point.damned.after i reached home i was so tired i felt asleep as i only intend to rest for awhile.woke up and dinner is ready.after that my cousin came again.hmm.entertained them and tml school is starting at 8am.damned.have to wake up around 6.........so tired and dead.......

never to look back again

2009-10-13T08:49:00.000-07:00

today is buddy birthday so we decided to go cycling at pulau ubin.woke up late as i did not had a good sleep the day before.me,buddy,ch,andre and jr went there and we took the boat as usual.took photos and proceed to cycling.i took a double bike with andre as he has yet to learn cycling.it was a fun trip and we were all tired.after that took a break at the old place that we usually went.bought coconut as usual.wow.my favourite.today's one was really sweet.haha.enjoyed le then we went back.we took bus to chinatown.it was a very long journey so i bought snacks up the bus and my drink keep dropping.ate bakuteh at chinatown.haha.after went back home by train as i am too tired to take bus.bought mac and i am now eating.haha.fun day.

i am being controlled by my emotions.my brain is now a mess.damn

2009-10-09T09:33:00.000-07:00

woke up today and went to jb with dad.Went there to buy ps2 games!!haha.it was long before we find food as we were starving.ate mac at holiday plaza.i was the one ordering.the mac staff replied me in malay..shit.i was like nodding my head nia.i don get a shit wad he was talking about.until then dad came and clear things out.finally then i bought the food and settled down to eat.ate two fish burgers and one apple pie.after that went to buy games lo.chose 3 and we set off to THE STORE.bought jolly shandy there.haha.after that went for dinner at old town white coffee.we then proceed back to singapore.my dad was holding on to the pirated games.damned.we met some trouble.ffirst was my sis.nearly did not get pass the malaysia custom as her passport photo was not updated.after some negotiation,they let us off.then after that at the singapore custom there my dad went pass the detector and the alarm sounded off.then we were all so sian.then it was my dad who forgot to put the plastic bag he was holding at the machine for checking.we were all relieve after we left the custom.my dad faster rushed down and we followed.wad a day.but it was fun.went home and aunt louisa cooked nasi briyani for us.yay.hmm..my day was fine:)

never to open that drawer again

2009-10-08T10:33:00.000-07:00

Today woke up early and went to bugis with mum and sis.wow.mum bought me 2 pants,1 shirt at bugis street,1 converse slipper,1 lee cooper t-shirt and one billabong laptop pouch at og at chinatown.haha.yay.hmm.mum say i bangseh her after that as i went to meet shermaine and gang.went after meeting jr to plaza singapura.played arcade like mad.haha.my fav initial d!!after playing went for dinner at bugis and ate tian tian huo guo.wow i was so full.but we kept eating.we ate and chatted until the shop almost closed.after that was late and shermaine parents came and they drove me.wow.sian.my holiday ending.one more week to enjoy le.after that shall chiong studies.yay.tomorrow wil be going to JB wid dad......nitez

it was a glimpse of hope that kept me going.i am now stronger than ever.

2009-10-06T11:54:00.000-07:00

oh man.....just love shapes so much sometimes.

wow.today was a busy day.woke up and my timetable is out le.now i have change class to E1 le.i really hate CATS.i always screw up my presentation.now it is even harder le.browse through my timetable and dun really like it.damn.i have come this far.i have to go on.but this wasn really going the way i want nowadays.hai.went down to clementi with shermaine,desiree and binwei.played pool and YAY.i've won everyone.it really feels gd to have my old form back sometimes.after that met jr and andre at vivo.had lunch there and slack.then went for initial D as usual.

it was the day i stood up again

2009-10-03T09:07:00.000-07:00

got a heavy head yesterday after having only half a can.so i slept early.woke up early today and went for lunch.played need for speed underground all the way until i went for dinner with dad.took 925.it was a funny route though.reached there and ate at the food junction.went arcade after that.played and waited for my friend.slacked and went home now going to play blackshot in house wid fren liao.nitez everyone